*Thanks Daily post – this one helped me realize a truth that is true for me. So glad I let this writing post challenge stew just a bit longer 🙂
Why we (my husband and myself) dislike Valentine’s day:
It’s a pre-package, heavy commercialized, high pressured day to force LOVE out of everyone…
Forcing love is never wise. This set date 2.14 of each year demands we decide how to show our affection to those we love or think we might love…what does our culture tell us to do? We run to the closest store to select from an aisle overstuffed with cards, candy, stuffed animals….
My husband and I always joke about romantic relationships that start around October and end right before Valentines day. It’s the pressure of all the holiday hoopla that our culture forces down our throats to enjoy…Enjoy? A new relationship can rarely survive through a Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years and Valentines day too. Some might say if a relationship does pull through all this added culture pressure “it’s meant to be” or “they are so made for each other”. I’m not writing about disliking Valentine’s day to analyze why relationships do or don’t work out…just an interesting side note 🙂
Back to me and my funny valentine – I know he loves me and he knows I love him and we don’t need to run around searching for an item to bid for each other’s affection that we already have in abundance 🙂 This isn’t easy for me…our society keeps telling me otherwise ALL the time!
I used to try to force a Valentine’s day celebration of some sorts out of my husband…this TOTALLY doesn’t work. Only left me feeling frustrated and a little bit hurt. I kept expecting to be able to capture the true meaning of our love or have some deeper connection on this certain day.
Now some people embrace this set day of romance and Wow it works well for their relationship! That’s wonderful and I used to think that had to be true for us – – – Not so this year 🙂 I’m all for acts of kindness and finding meaningful ways to express love to your loved ones – romantic or otherwise. Showing someone how much you care is G-R-E-A-T! Last year when I was still somewhat trying to celebrate this holiday I purchased these pillow cases as a joke about this love day – see I’m the girl punching my cartoon husband. My husband called them domestic violence pillows…sigh (this is the law enforcement coming out of him – that’s his day job). Typically he is a funny joking sort of person so I recall saying, “this was supposed to be funny”….
This year – what did I do? I Let it go! Not on my own…it took an act from God. A 3 day snow storm and an earthquake to make it next to impossible to bother with any gifts OR plans any celebrations of any sort. I was relieved from all that structured, frantic mess we call a holiday…free to enjoy my kids being home one more snow day. Simply being together as a family. What did I do that day for my Funny Valentine? I asked him why we dislike this holiday? Only now I agree with him on this topic! After 13 years of trying to force a celebration that always went array… it’s finally ok for us to show our love for each other different than the “norm” or how our culture is trying to superimpose on us. This scheduled day of love has never worked for us and it feels so great to let that go! 2 days after the un-Valentines day – he surprised me with half priced chocolate covered strawberries. They were sweeter to my taste buds and a delightful, unexpected surprise! Yum – shared with my boys too 😉
So, if I feel the urge to race around like a chicken with its head cut off on any holiday…I need to remind myself that we love each other so much that a designated day, set time, set space cannot hold our love and puts unwanted boundaries which limits rather than helps our relationship.
No more cards that don’t say it quite right or how I want to express my love….no more ugly pooky faced puppy dogs, no more candy that we bite half pieces in the entire box… no more searching for the “right” love day gift because we already have it – each other 🙂
My fav chocolate – Dove – Not denying myself an occasional candy snack.